What Gets Me Hot: So you think you have the worst job in the world. Think again!!

So you think you have the worst job in the world. Think again!! No matter how awful your boss is, at least he doesn’t chop off your head when you do something wrong. Nor does he ask you to wade through the sewers, handle entrails and offal, or stick your arm into the warm, cavernous bowels of large farm animals. You think you have a heavy workload? Try working 16 hour days, 7 days a week, in a poorly ventilated factory. You’re not allowed any bathroom breaks, and if you make a mistake, you get fired. Which won’t really affect your standard of living, because your pay cheque consists of half a loaf of burnt bread. (If you're really lucky). Hate the fact that you spend so many hours on the road? Hey, at least you’re in a car. Not wandering dank forests on foot, constantly looking over your shoulder for traces of wild, hungry animals that want to devour you for dinner. And even though the office budgets mean that you have to fly economy, it’s still a heck of a lot better than the conditions of a sailing galley. You aren’t shackled to your seats, and no matter how bad the airline food is, at least it’s not infested with maggots. (Except of course on Karter Ultra-Budget Airlines - where they charge extra for the maggots). Are you dealing with difficult co-workers, who refuse to follow your instructions and grumble when you ask them to meet deadlines? At least they’re not stoning you to death, feeding you to lions, or plotting with the people from the Accounting Department on how they can convince your boss to serve your head on a silver platter. Retirement package not up to your standard? Be thankful you can even look forward to retirement. For some people, they’re lucky to be alive at the end of the day, what with charging bulls or the risk of falling four stories down a rickety chimney. Your job isn’t as bad as you think. Not completely crap! There are many jobs out there that are much, much worse - and truly hold the distinction of being the world's most crap jobs. Or . . . maybe you know differently. If your job is crappier, more dangerous of more poorly paid than the above let us know and you could win our Worst Jobs Trophy.		Win our wonderful WORST JOB 2009 Trophy. Do you have a crap job? If your job is ghastly and unbearable! If you have the Worst Boss in the World you could be the proud owner of this majestic trophy.

Winner of the 2006 Worst-Job.com trophy goes to Randy Trannie from Devon England. Here’s the email that Randy sent us: “Hi, my name is Randy and I think that I have the worst job in the world. My problem started when I was at school, I could never bother studying and was too damn dumb to understand anything the teacher said. All I was really interested in was getting out of class to do something more exciting – like stamp collecting, train spotting and stuffing fireworks up the backsides of cats just for a laugh. Anyway I never got any qualifications and when I left school I couldn’t get a job. Sure I got dumb jobs like cleaning the toilets in MacDonalds and picking up dog shit and litter at the park. But these were low paid jobs and so damn boring. To stop myself being depressed I turned to drink – I downed as many bottles as I could steal. Then, just about a year ago, I decided that I had to better myself – had to stop drinking and get a decent job – well at least that’s what my parole officer at the prison insisted I do. But what job could I get – with no experience and no qualifications. I hunted the newspapers ads. It was useless. Then I spotted one job that I could apply for – it said “Urgent - housecleaner bitch wanted. Must do all the things that my fat-arsed wife is too bloody lazy to do.” Sounded perfect! There was just one problem – it was for women only. I hatched a plan. I borrowed some clothes from Marks & Spencer’s Outsized Ladies Department and went for the interview. The guy seemed to take a liking to me – I was offered the job there and then. I was thrilled . . . until I turned up for my first day at work. The guy handed me a ridiculous dress and said it was my uniform. Later on I discovered that the duties I was to perform included doing the things his wife refused to do in bed!!!! Yuck!!! So here am I having to dress up as a woman every day and perform unnatural acts with a proper weirdo. This truly must be the worst job ever!! So why do I not quite – well mainly because if I don’t have a job I’ll get thrown straight back into prison . . . but also because the guy who employs me is a pretty good tipper.
STOP PRESS :: This weeks worst job You may think that your job is bad, but pity me for I am a Worm Taster. I’m sure you know what a Wine Taster does – he checks the quality of wines before it is bottled. You probably know that a Cheese Taster checks how good cheeses are before they are sent to the supermarket. But what about a Worm Taster? Well there are a number of Worm Breeders around the UK – they sell worms to the fishing tackle shops who then sell them to people who go fishing. Worms come in a number of breeds – some are more attractive to fish than others – breeders are always searching for the perfect worm – one that the fish can’t resist. That’s where I come in – I spend each and every day sniffing, feeling and, of course, eating raw worms in an effort to find those new breeds that the fish will like. It’s a bit of a tasteless job – pardon the pun – but being confined to a wheelchair it’s the only one I can get near to where I live. On top of that the pay is minimum wages. The only perk I get is an abundance of free worms so my family eat worm pie twice a week. Of course they don’t know what they are eating – I tell them that it’s mince pie. Sent in by Havana Grub Last weeks worst job Hi, My name is Hans Dowwen and I come from Sweden. My job is crap - literarily! Yes I am a toilet attendant. Now I know that there are many toilet attendants in the world but I think my job is worst of all. Why? Because I work in the Stockholm Constipation Clinic. So what's so bad about that - well people come to the clinic because they have not been able to crap. Sometimes there have people who have not had a good shit for weeks. An what happens - well they are given tablets and potions and have things stuffed up there bums. And what happens next - yes that's right weeks of pent up festering shit comes hurling out. This vile smelling disgusting stuff blocks up the WCs and I need to unblock it. It also comes out at such a force it goes all over the walls and floors. And who needs to clean up - yes me! So what do I get paid for this disgusting job - 80,000 Swedish Krona - about $11,000. Not a lot for all the crap I take.

11.13.2009

So you think you have the worst job in the world. Think again!!