1.27.2010

Top 2 Bible Questions Answered - This is such a lame Weekly World News Post that I'm Totally reBlogging it

CHARLESTON, SC – How did Noah get breeding pairs of all the Earth’s animals into a single boat? Where did manna come from? How did Jesus feed 5,000 people with five loaves of bread and two fishes? How did Christ walk on water? And what really happened to Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden?

These great Bible mysteries, which have baffled Christians for over 2,000 years, have finally been solved by Bible experts who concluded after a five-year study that “God’s ways, though often mysterious, are sometimes crystal clear.

“And in the cases of these Bible miracles, there is no mystery at all. All we have to do is open our eyes. The solutions really are there for everyone to see.”

Dr. James Rhodes, Bernadette Carter, Phillip Gaylord, Dr. Margaret Creed and Dr. Robert Stephenson headed up the panel of Bible scholars, theologians and clergymen who examined the mysteries in light of the historical record and current scientific thinking and provided a solution for each of them.

“Our conclusions will seem controversial to some, but they are in no way meant to diminish God’s power and supremacy over everything that was, is and will be,” explained Mrs. Carter.

Here are the experts’ explanations for five great Bible mysteries:

1. How Noah got breeding pairs of every animal on Earth in a single boat.

The solution, say the experts, is simple if you look beyond artists’ conceptions of the event that we have all seen over the years.

“Noah filled the ark mostly with babies and eggs that took up less space and required less food than adult animals,” said Dr. Rhodes.

“It is also safe to assume that the Great Flood, though extensive, didn’t cover the entire Earth as many people believe.

“In the Aramaic that the Bible was originally written in, the story of Noah describes the Flood as covering ‘the world,’ which, when accurately translated, simply means the Middle East.

“So in point of fact, Noah only loaded local animals onto the ark – not every animal on the planet.

2. Where manna came from.

While searching for the Promised Land, Moses and his followers faced great trials and tribulations – including the threat of starvation.

They survived the worst of times eating manna from Heaven – a sugary, bread-like substance that “fell from Heaven.”

In fact, as the experts point out, manna is produced by plants indigenous to the region the group was exiled in. The miracle, of course, is that the plants produced ENOUGH manna to feed thousands of people.

“Outside of a single miraculous incident, this is unheard of,” say Galord. “It truly is a miracle of the first magnitude.”

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