Sylvio Berlusconi Jokes, Gestures and Blunders Calendar! A Surprisingly LOL-a-Pus-Coni Compendium from NEW Wikipedia - JOKEpedia [no punchline needed]

Image by WhatGetsMeHot Mrjyn via Flickr

I haven't had this much fun in a long time, but I'm afraid my carpal disagrees. I'll try to fill in links and Videos after I do some wrist bends.

Jokes, gestures and blunders

Berlusconi is notorious for his questionable sense of humour. In February , at a European Union summit of foreign ministers, Berlusconi, who was present since the replacement of his previous foreign minister, Renato Ruggiero, had not yet been appointed, made a vulgar gesture (the "corna") behind the head of the Spanish foreign minister, Josep Piqué, intimating he was a cuckold during an official photo shoot. This is a common joke among Italian children, but many felt it was utterly out of place in an international meeting. He later explained that he "was just kidding", and was trying to create a relaxed atmosphere, that this sort of meeting was meant to "create friendship, cordiality, fondness and kind relationships" between the participants, and that he wanted to amuse a small group of Boy Scout bystanders.

July , one day after taking over the rotating presidency of the EU Council of Ministers, he was heavily criticised by the German SPD Member of the European Parliament Martin Schulz because of his domestic policy and his alleged links to the Mafia. Berlusconi responded: "Mr Schulz, I know a movie producer in Italy who is making a movie about Nazi concentration camps. I will recommend you for the role of a Kapo. You are perfect for the part!". Responding to the shoutings that then came from the Socialist MEP backbenchers, Berlusconi insisted that he was only joking, but soon after accused Martin Schulz and others leftish MEPs to be "bad-willing tourists of democracy". His comparisons with the Nazis caused a brief cooling of Italy's relationship with Germany.[

During an interview with Nicholas Farrell and Boris Johnson, then editor of The Spectator magazine, Berlusconi claimed that Mussolini "had been a benign dictator who did not murder opponents but sent them "on holiday".[

May , while opening the European Food Safety Authority in Parma (preferred over a Finnish location, after Berlusconi made an assertion of Finns "not knowing what prosciutto is"), Berlusconi claimed that he had to "dust off my playboy skills" with the Finnish president, Tarja Halonen, to convince her to locate the EFSA in Parma. This caused criticism from both Italy and Finland, with the Italian ambassador in Finland being summoned by the Finnish foreign minister.[

] A minister of his cabinet later 'explained' the comment by saying that "anyone who had seen a picture of Halonen must have been aware that he had been joking".

Before that, speaking to a group of Wall Street traders, he listed a series of reasons to invest in Italy. The first of them was that "we have the most beautiful secretaries in the world". This resulted in uproar in Italy, where, for a day, female Members of Parliament took part in a cross-party protest. Over the prosciutto comment, the Finnish pizza chain Kotipizza later came back with a new variety of pizza called Pizza Berlusconi, using smoked reindeer as the topping. The pizza won first prize in America's Plate International pizza contest in March .[ ]

March , Berlusconi defended accusations he made that the "Communists used to eat children", by responding with claims that "... read the Black Book of Communism and you will discover that in the communist China of Mao, they did not eat children, but had them boiled to fertilise the fields". He later admitted, "It was questionable irony ... because this joke is questionable. But I did not know how to restrain myself." His political opponent, Romano Prodi, told the press, "The damage caused to Italy by an insult to . billion people is by all means a considerable one", and that Berlusconi's comments were "unthinkable".[

] Berlusconi replied by gifting copies of the Black Book of Communism during one of his election rallies.

April , less than a week before the upcoming political elections in Italy, during a speech given at the National Chamber for Trade, Berlusconi stated that he holds "too high esteem of the Italians' intelligence to think that there are so many coglioni (literally "testicles", a vulgar term often used about people considered stupid) around voting against their interest". He later apologized for the "rude but effective language".[

] At an awards dinner in January , Berlusconi was quoted as saying, "If I wasn't already married, I would marry you right away," and "With you, I'd go anywhere" to Mara Carfagna, a representative of Forza Italia and former showgirl. These flirtatious comments prompted his wife Veronica to demand an apology in a front-page letter to the Italian newspaper la Repubblica, one of Berlusconi's rival publications. In a statement released through his political party, he begged for forgiveness and stated that he would "always protect [Veronica's] dignity."[

] Mara Carfagna is now serving under him as minister for Equal Opportunities.[

] In the run-up to the Italian general election, Berlusconi claimed that right-wing female politicians were better looking than their left-wing counterparts. His remarks provoked an angry reaction from Italian centre-left parties, which accused him of being sexist. Berlusconi was quoted as saying that when he looked round Parliament, he found that female politicians from the right were "more beautiful" and that "The left has no taste, even when it comes to women".[

] During a televised encounter with voters on April a young woman asked Silvio Berlusconi what the younger generation should do about the lack of secure jobs. He promptly suggested that she try to marry "the son of Berlusconi... with a smile like yours, you could try."[

] Since the general election, Berlusconi has already begun to court controversy at European level. He has publicly criticized the current composition of the Council of Ministers of the Spanish Government as being too 'pink' by virtue of the fact that it has (once the President of the Council, José Luis Rodríguez Zapatero, is counted) an equal number of men and women. He also stated that he doubted that such a composition would be possible in Italy given the "prevalence of men" in Italian politics.[

] The journalist reportedly reduced to tears. Putin denied rumours that he was to marry Kabaeva. A spokesman for Berlusconi tried to play down the shooting gesture. He said: "It was just a gesture, a playful gesture, in fact it was appreciated given the technical time needed for a long and tedious Russian translation." Afterwards, Melikova said: "I saw Berlusconi's gesture and I know he has a reputation as being a joker. I hope there are no consequences." Vittorio Feltri, founder and editor of the right-wing newspaper Libero, argued that, given the records in transparency that Russia scores, Berlusconi actually 'saved' Melikova's life by making that gesture

Berlusconi and George Bush are known to be intimate friends and spend time together on Bush's Crawford, Texas ranch. He declared that he and Bush would "remain friends forever", nostalgic at the end of Bush's term as a president.[

] On an official dinner in the White House on October , Berlusconi, tripping over a microphone cable, crumbled the podium, too excited about greeting Bush and embracing him. Then Berlusconi commented: "did you see what a huge love can do?"

November, two days after Barack Obama was elected the first African-American US President, Berlusconi "complimented" Obama on his "suntan":[ ] “ I will try to help relations between Russia and the United States where a new generation has come to power. I don't see problems for Medvedev to establish good relations with Obama because he is young, handsome and even tanned, therefore I think that a good cooperation can be developed.[ ][ ] ”

March he added: “ I'm paler [than Mr Obama], because it's been so long since I went sunbathing. He's more handsome, younger and taller.[ ] ” Subsequently at a tent camp on the outskirts of 'Aquila housing some of the more than , people who lost their homes during the earthquake he said to an African priest: “ you have a nice tan.[ ] ” Berlusconi then grabbed the priest and told him: “ hold me tight and call me Papa.[ ] ”

November , Berlusconi played "hide-and-seek" with German Chancellor Angela Merkel. He was set to receive Merkel but opted to hide behind a column while Merkel and her entourage walked by. According to reporters present, Berlusconi called out "coo coo", prompting Mrs Merkel to turn around, saying "Oh, Silvio".[

]January Berlusconi announced his aim to enhance the numbers of military patrolling the Italian cities from to in order to crack down on what he called an "evil army" of criminals. Responding to a female journalist who asked him if this tenfold increase in patrolling soldiers would be enough to secure Italian women from being raped, he said: “ We could not field a big enough force to avoid this risk [of rape]. We would need as many soldiers as beautiful women and I don't think that would be possible, because our women are so beautiful. ” Opposition leaders called the remarks insensitive and in bad taste. Berlusconi retorted that he had merely wanted to compliment Italian women. Other critics accused him of creating a "police state".[

] In April , Berlusconi appeared to have annoyed Queen Elizabeth II at a photo session during the summit. During the photo session, Berlusconi shouted "Mr Obama, Mr. Obama", prompting her to turn around and chastise Berlusconi, “What is it? Why does he have to shout?”.[ ][

] The following day, at the NATO meeting in Kehl, Berlusconi was seen talking on his mobile phone, while the German Chancellor Angela Merkel and other NATO leaders waited for him for a photo on a Rhine bridge.[ ] (Afterwards, Berlusconi claimed he was talking to Turkish Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdoğan about accepting the Secretary Generalship of Anders Fogh Rasmussen). Responding to the Italian media's reaction to these incidents, he said he was considering "hard measures" against reporters, and referred to some of their claims as "slander".[

] Two days after the 'Aquila earthquake, devastating the capital city of the Abruzzo region and causing more than deaths, Berlusconi said to tv 

"

people left homeless by the earthquake should view their experience as a camping weekend."

In that occasion he asked woman councillor Lia Beltrami, "Can I fondle you?" on a tour of an earthquake site.

May Berlusconi said to a reporter while he was on a live television in Rome that when he was in Finland he had to travel three hours to see a two hundred year old church in the countryside. In his opinion that wooden church would have been destroyed if it was in Italy. Mr Berlusconi had made a non-official visit to Finland in and had never seen any Finnish church. He had just been visiting Iceland.

Tele Milano - Chewing Gum ( a puntata, )] Berlusconi, puntata, scantinato di basement, Bubble Gum Telemilano Berlusconi first entered the media world in by setting up a small cable television company, Telemilano, to service units built on his Segrate properties. It began transmitting in September the following year. After buying two further channels, Berlusconi relocated the station to central Milan in and began broadcasting over the airwaves. questi erano sia tempi che dischi da panico.....funkyyyyyyyyyy... these were both time and disk panic ..... funkyyyyyyyyyy ... divertimento sano. fun healthy. Clitoide ( ) Clitoide ( ) + + ma chi era la ragazza della doccia? But who was the girl in the shower? ALLUPATEdiBIAGIO ( ) ALLUPATEdiBIAGIO ( ) Comment removed by author Comment removed by author Nostalgico ( ) Nostalgico ( ) + + I primi studi di telemilano erano in alcuni scantinati di Mialno , fatto storico. The first studies were in some basements of telemilano Mialno , a historical fact. figamarsa ( ) figamarsa ( ) Una delle prime trasmissioni via etere: prima le trasmissioni erano limitate al via cavo solo al super condominio di milano One of the first broadcast over the air: first broadcasts were limited to cable and only the super condominium Milan AleJonica ( ) AleJonica ( ) + + batmax , batmax , Programma fatto in uno scantinato di Milano ? Program done in a basement of Milan ?